November, it seems is a tricky month for me, and having neglected to opt for a No-Vember, I quickly found myself in burnout. If you are new here (hi!), I was diagnosed as autistic in the summer of 2024 following a lifetime of searching and overdoing it and I am working through what that means for me going forward.
Two weeks off work, and countless hours of Minecraft later (I love gaming, you should see the house I built, it was epic!) I was back at work and straight into Christmas and to what to me has felt like the world’s longest January. But tonight is the night, Brighid’s Eve, the night before the ancient Irish fire festival of Imbolc in honour of the Goddess and the first hint of spring as we welcome back the light.
Tonight we have prepared our Brat Brighde, a length of green material which serves as a representation of Brighid’s mantle and her healing. We place it on the threshold of our home this night in the hope that Brighid will bless it as she passes, and we will use it for healing and comfort throughout the year. We have left an offering of milk and honey, both sacred to Brighid and we will celebrate this weekend with a fire at home and with drumming in circle up by the White Horse in Uffington. It is a family tradition to write our wishes for the year to come on ‘clooties’ - pieces of paper rolled up into mini scrolls which we tie to the tree in the garden with twine.
Ritual and nurturing my spiritual practice have been a great source of comfort and strength in these trying times. Speaking with a friend who’s wife has also recently experienced burnout, we described the recovery period that follows the initial time off as ‘throwing everything at it and seeing what sticks’ = be that yoga, walking, journaling etc. and the pressure of finding something to ‘fix’ you can feel overwhelming in itself. In that vein, please take what follows as a list of things I’ve had a go at that have helped a bit in the post-burnout fog, not a ‘should-do’ list.
Learning
I’m taking a masters course at the moment, and I’ve had a few concerned folks worried that it might have been what caused the burnout. I am very fortunate to have folk care about me but I’m glad to say that the opposite is true. Learning has been such a protective and joyful factor in my life. Having something stimulating, interesting and challenging is very nourishing and is helping me to rebuild my confidence. I’ve also had a good few ‘pinch me’ Oxford moments which is very cool. Here are the first of Brighid’s snowdrops I saw this year in the University Parks.
Mindfulness
I have a fairly long commute and I really enjoy listening to podcasts and audiobooks to keep me company on the way. On tougher days, I have been well accompanied by 'The Way Out Is In’ podcast from Plum Village, a Buddhist Monastery in France founded by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh. The podcast is hosted by Brother Phap Huu and Jo Confino who also wrote ‘Being with Busyness’ which is my current reading and full of tips on how to avoid falling back into burnout. The podcast has helped me to reframe unhelpful thought patterns and has provided me with insights on how to live in the present moment.
My anxiety often manifests in the early mornings and has recently been compounded by doom scrolling all of the evils of the world, of which there are many. Brother Phap Huu speaks on greeting the new day in the present moment, knowing that nothing is certain, that there are twenty four new, fresh hours ahead of us. I place my hands over my heart space and reconnect with my breath, bringing my mind home to my body. Although this may seem simple, it is having a profound effect and has been a major factor in me being able to go into work. Sister True Dedication who is a guest on the podcast has helped me to see my activism in a different way also. It is not through doom scrolling that I am present and capable of affecting change but through resting, reconnecting and taking care that I can be strong enough to continue my work towards a more peaceful and equitable world.
Gardening
A favourite family project, growing fruit and veg in earnest is making a comeback here this year and is so exciting to me that it deserves its own post, coming soon.
Knowledge and Safety
I know that the burnout will come back. I am of the nature to experience burnout in the world in which I live. I am grateful to be safe enough with my family to be held and loved when it does. We have also made some concrete plans with money, work and definitely another round of No-Vember to hopefully reduced the frequency of the acute burnout moments.
I would love to connect with you all more here in community so please let me know if you have any comments and if you would like to learn more about Brighid. I am grateful to her, the Bard, for rekindling my love of writing and to be back here present on Substack.
Wishing you Brightest Blessings for Imbolc
I like your idea of No-Vember. November is the Samhain which is watched over by the Morrígan she is a shapeshifter and suffers no fools. Many don’t like working with her because she makes you comfort your fears, your shadows, and your dark. She’s a force for sure, but important nonetheless. Winter is the time for rest and somehow in society we’ve mixed it all up into a time of doing, which makes burnout rather easy. Congratulations on tuning into your body and doing only what you need to!
I feel the burnout creeping back, this is a good reminder to take a pause. 🌸